The holidays are a very exciting time for many people. A time for families to come together, and make memories that will last a lifetime. A magical time filled with love and laughter. For many people though, the holidays bring sadness, and painful memories. For some people the holidays are a difficult time. For me the holidays bring a mixture of excitement, and sadness.
As a child I don’t remember celebrating many of the holidays. I am sure we did, and I am sure it was fun, but I only remember a few of them. I have seen pictures when I was young, and standing by the Christmas tree or opening presents. I just don’t remember those times. For me the holidays always brought anxiety, and sadness. I couldn’t go to school, which was my safe haven. Holidays meant food baskets from the food bank or a charity. I don’t have happy memories of writing a letter to Santa and leaving cookies. I can’t remember waking up early Christmas morning to see what I would find under the tree, if we even had a tree. I do remember feelings of loneliness, and disappointment because it was just another day.
Don’t get me wrong I have a few good holiday memories, but not many that include my mom or dad. The one holiday memory that will forever hold a special place in my heart actually happened at school. It was my 7th grade year, and getting close to Christmas break. It may have even been the last day before break. I was sitting in one of my classes when I got a call to go see one of my teachers. I walked into her room, and she was standing by a table with a little tree and presents. She told me that the presents were for me, and that she wanted to give me a Christmas.
I remember several thoughts running through my mind. My first thought was “how did she even know I wouldn’t have a Christmas?”. I remember telling myself “don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry”. I couldn’t fathom why someone would go out of their way to give me a Christmas. I really felt like I did not deserve it, but a part of me felt so excited, and hopeful. I was filled with gratitude, and did not know how I could ever repay her for this kindness. This was by far one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for me. I didn’t know it then, but she would take care of me from afar for the rest of my life. She would make little things happen for me, and I would never know she orchestrated it. She did not do it for the glory, she did it because she has a heart of gold, and truly cares about me. She is the reason I am a teacher, and she will forever be a special part of my life. Thank you Ann for always being there for me, and loving me.
You will hear more about how the holidays, have shaped who I am as a parent, and how Ann has impacted my life in so many ways. Stay tuned…..
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!